Overdue- Day 1- The ol’ due date IS a myth…

Back in July I was 2 weeks over my due date. I wrote about it, but didn't know blogging was so easy. So I'm publishing these first before I start talking about my first few months of motherhood...

It was marked on the calendar and served as the deadline for all life order to be completed in my household. It was one week past the halfway mark of the year, which seemed like a good time to be born. His sun sign would be Cancer, and my friend tells me Cancers are nice people. But the day ended and no signs of expulsion from the womb.

I gloated at the thought of telling all the people who said, “You’re going to come early” that I was now overdue. Most of these were what I call “pro moms" who have at least three children and have been mothers for a long time... not people like me who knew nothing of babymaking until that positive pregnancy test nine months ago. These were the people that had very little to say to me until now. Finally we could relate on something.

I always thought the doctors had my due date wrong. They didn’t seem to think much of it when I told them, saying “We just calculate from the date of your last period.” That’s easy. October 1. But you see, I’m one of those people who doesn’t ovulate like everyone else. Some may think I’m lucky, but I have had 4-period years! Yes, that deserved a big woo-hoo! at the time. But right now, it’s not making my life any easier. I have a feeling my due date is one week off ( I remember that night, mm-hmm). So I’ll give it another week before I really start complaining.

I’ll spare you the details of THAT NIGHT, but I ate my pineapple as instructed 6-10 DPO in order to aid conception. And like clockwork, which my body never follows, I became pregnant and found out on Halloween. I fooled everyone with faux gin and tonics at the party. The glow was great, and my body still slid into a slinky black costume, a costume that wouldn’t make it past my swollen calves at the moment.

Thinking back, I should have known something was wrong at our three- year anniversary dinner a few days before Halloween when I sent back my lobster dish at Gordon Ramsey’s London because it wasn’t to my liking. The waiter returned it saying, “That’s the way it is supposed to be.” Now in my right mind, I can only imagine Gordon Ramsey yelling in the kitchen “What do you mean it’s not cooked right, the dumb cow!”