Overdue- Day 6- Pre-Partum Depression

I’ve met so many women who tell me they loved being pregnant. I can’t say that I’ve loved it, which makes me question my maternal nature. My husband says it’s hindsight with these women. But I have to say, while pregnant I have had no headaches, few body aches, and I’ve felt fairly sane and happy the entire time. I dread the return of PMS days, and I’m sure my husband isn’t going to welcome them either.

But I can’t help but be a little blue with this overdue business. I’m not dilated, the baby hasn’t even dropped, my cervix isn’t favorable for induction, and the baby is very large. “Larger babies are difficult to remove by c-section,” my sister tells me. Great. Even harder to push out  I'm sure. So what, it just stays in there and I become famous and have my own reality show? The popular book The Happiest Baby on the Block talks about the so-called Fourth Trimester. Well, Jack is having his fourth trimester inside the womb. Does that mean he will come out more advanced?

Meanwhile, my legs are so swollen it’s hard to sit down or step to into the shower. I have to grunt when I stand up. Relatives are getting worried. They don’t call as much, or if they do they talk to my husband. I’m hesitant to go anywhere even though I’m sure nothing is going to happen.

How do you birth a baby that is probably 9 pounds? I know people do it, but can I? My best friend can’t believe it. “That’s a lot of Kegels you’re going to have to do,” she quips. “How did the baby get so big,” I asked my doctor. She tells me I had more weight gain than I should have and that older women have bigger babies. If that doesn’t trigger pre-partum depression then I don’t know what does.