My husband and I had secretly wanted him to be a few days overdue so we could try THE SALAD. A nationwide phenomenon for inducing pregnancy, it just so happened to be about a mile walk from our residence. An average of 5-10 waddlers per day eat this salad, and many of them report going into labor shortly after. You walk in, sit down, and the servers know exactly what you are there for. They bring you a journal in which you can record your story. I was a little worried when I saw spaces left for follow-up after most of the entries that were not filled in. But, how can you come out to eat with a new baby? That’s why none of these are filled in.
My doctor poo-pooed the salad saying it was a marketing scheme. He had a received a bottle of the dressing as a joke. “It’s just balsamic vinegar,” he said. Our server insisted it was the plant derivatives in the dressing. I speculated it was the tons of Gorgonzola on this mound of a salad after 10 months of eating no soft cheeses. “What it’s going to do is make you feel a little sick,” the server said in the tone of a doctor. “Then you’ll go into labor.”
She was right about one thing. It did make me feel sick. Or, rather, like I had indigestion. All this gas must be what gets labor started, I thought. This crazy salad is going to work!
Around three a.m. some things were expelled but not a baby, and the next day I felt fine. I ate the leftover salad for breakfast, figuring I had to eat it all for it to work. Well, as you probably guessed, it did not work. I hated to prove that the salad in my hood did not work for overdue, suffering mothers. So it was on to the next urban legend.
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